Silent Resolve and the God Who Let Me Down (a 9/11 story)

PrefaceSilent Resolve and the God Who Let Me Down (a 9/11 story)

So long I have been in writing this book that I hope my words will still hold some resonance upon the reader. I have tried many times to begin, but each time I drew up short. I was not ready. Each time I began, a wave of grief overwhelmed me so that I had to put my story away in order to continue to fulfill the responsibilities my life required of me, for I had not yet felt the full measure of my grief. I feel deep within myself that now is the time. It may not be for the benefit of others, though I hope there are those who will be comforted by my words, but it is for my own healing that this story must be told. I cannot promise answers to the questions such a tragedy awakens. Yet, I feel strongly that I need to produce something in regard to my father’s death. In some small way, it is as though the writing of this book will ensure that his death was not in vain. He would have gladly laid down his life for another. If through the words held within this book I can help one person, then I will feel that his loss has not been without a purpose. My hope is that in sharing my journey, some comfort, remedy, or resolution may come to the reader.

I do not claim to have all the answers or that I have grown so wise as to instruct others. In no way am I implying this is the way everyone should feel; that this is what everyone should believe. I only know what I have experienced and the conclusions, if any, I have reached. Read on and know only that this is what has come to me.


Preface. viii

Episode 1 – Forever Changed. 1

Episode 2 – Awakened. 9

Episode 3 – Tears. 18

Episode 4 – Silence. 33

Episode 5 – Seeking After His Sheep. 41

Episode 6 –Through the Veil 50

Episode 7 – Silent Resolve. 58

Episode 8 – The Face of Evil 79

Episode 9 – Not Alone. 86

Episode 10 – God’s Sovereignty. 98

Episode 11 – All in His Hands. 105

Episode 12 – For Such a Time. 118

Episode 13 – Resolution. 128

Episode 14 – Even So. 139

Episode 15 – Epilogue. 144

Notes 148

~ Susan